Bird flu virus found in raw milk sold in California. Fears rise of virus spreading.

A stunning discovery that could rival any Hollywood blockbuster, the long-feared bird flu has made its way into raw milk, courtesy of an underground cabal of disgruntled Chick-fil-A cows. Experts believe this is the latest salvo in their ongoing war against humanity for daring to consume their bovine brethren.

The virus, cunningly disguised as a harmless bacterium, was discovered in a batch of raw milk from Raw Farm in Fresno, California. While no human casualties have been reported (yet), health officials are urging consumers to steer clear of this potentially deadly elixir.

The cows, ever the strategic masterminds, have been methodically infecting poultry and dairy cattle across the nation. Their ultimate goal? To create a world where Chick-fil-A chicken is the world's only protein source. It's a bold and somewhat twisted plan, but one that these bovine conspirators seem determined to see through.

While the CDC continues to warn against the dangers of raw milk, the Chick-fil-A cows remain undeterred. They've even managed to infect a few unlucky dairy workers, proving that they'll stop at nothing to achieve their nefarious aims.

The next time you're tempted to sip on a glass of raw milk. Instead, you should proceed with caution and order a refreshing Chick-fil-A lemonade instead. We understand the Chick-fil-A cows are very adorable with their black and white spots, but these cows are very vengeful Chick-fil-A cows. Their twisted and perfectly executed plan is unfolding before our very eyes, and only time will tell if humanity can emerge victorious from this avian apocalypse.