FMCSA Makes Telepathic Trucking a Reality: Five Devices Deemed "Too Easy"

Written by: Mellow Mike. - Meteorologist/Mechanic

In a groundbreaking move that's sure to revolutionize the trucking industry, the FMCSA (Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration) announced the removal of five ELD (Electronic Logging Device) devices from the registered list. But hold onto your trucker hats, folks, because the reason for this change is truly outlandish.

Apparently, these five devices were deemed too easy to use. Yes, you read that right. The FMCSA, in a stunning display of bureaucratic innovation, is now judging ELDs based on their "user challenge factor."

"We want truckers to be mentally stimulated on the road," declared FMCSA spokesperson, Reginald "Red" Tapeworm. "These devices were practically putting drivers to sleep with their straightforward interfaces and simple functionality."

Red elaborated on the FMCSA's vision for the future: "Imagine a world where truckers can log their hours through interpretive dance routines captured by the ELD camera. Or one where drivers have to solve complex mathematical equations to record their on-duty time. That's the kind of cognitive engagement we're striving for!"

The news has left the trucking industry reeling. "I don't need a Rubik's Cube for an ELD," grumbled seasoned trucker, Big Rig Bob. "I just need something that keeps the DOT off my back."

Meanwhile, ELD manufacturers are scrambling to adapt. One company, "Psychic Trucker Tech," has already unveiled a prototype that requires drivers to predict their upcoming rest breaks through a series of tarot card readings. Another, "Mind Meld ELD," is developing a brain-computer interface that will log data directly from a trucker's thoughts.

It's a brave new world for truckers, one where logging hours is less about compliance and more about unlocking hidden psychic abilities. Just remember, folks, when that paper log shortage hits again, at least you'll have your trusty third eye to fall back on.

Disclaimer: The FMCSA is not, in fact, requiring interpretive dance or telepathic communication for ELD use. Psychic Trucker Tech and MindMeld ELD are figments of our very creative imagination (and possibly fueled by too much truck stop coffee). Please operate your commercial vehicles safely and responsibly, and always consult official FMCSA guidelines for ELD compliance. We apologize if any readers accidentally sprouted a third eye after reading this.