Maine Trucker Crashes, Is Charged with Driving Under the Influence

Written by: Road Rage Ross. Field Reporter/Traffic Hazard

In a bizarre turn of events, a Maine trucker crashed his semi-truck into a giant inflatable rubber duck on the side of the highway. Witnesses reported that the trucker was swerving erratically before the collision, leading to suspicions of intoxication.

The trucker, identified as Hank “Big Rig” Johnson, was found stumbling out of the cab with a half-empty bottle of moonshine in hand. When questioned by the police, Johnson claimed that the rubber duck had “cut him off” and that he was merely trying to avoid a collision.

However, the evidence was stacked against him. Not only did the rubber duck have the right of way, but Johnson’s breathalyzer test revealed a blood alcohol level that could only be described as “interstellar.” The police promptly charged him with driving under the influence.

As news of the incident spread, social media erupted with memes and jokes about the “quacking DUI.” The rubber duck, now deflated and lying on the side of the road, became an instant internet sensation. Memes featuring Johnson’s mugshot superimposed on the duck’s bill flooded Twitter, with captions like “When you’re too drunk to quack.”

The trucking community, however, rallied behind Johnson. Truckers from all over the country started a GoFundMe campaign to repair the rubber duck, calling it a “symbol of our freedom to crash into oversized roadside attractions.” The campaign quickly raised enough money to reinflate the duck and even add a pair of oversized sunglasses for effect.

In a statement, Johnson’s lawyer argued that the rubber duck was a distraction and that his client was merely trying to protect the trucking industry from inflatable hazards. “Hank is a hero,” the lawyer said. “He sacrificed his own sobriety to save us all from the tyranny of roadside rubber ducks.”

As the court case unfolds, one thing is clear: this is a story that will go down in trucking history. Whether Johnson is a hero, or a cautionary tale remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure—the next time you see a giant inflatable rubber duck, you’ll think twice before swerving to avoid it.

Disclaimer: This article is satire in nature and any name likeness is purely coincidence. No rubber ducks were harmed.