Peterbilt introduces Cummins X15NU nuclear powered engine.

Written by: Road Rage Ross. - Field Reporter/Traffic Hazard

Denton, TX — In a stunning leap toward the future, Peterbilt, the iconic truck manufacturer, has announced that all their new tractor trailers will be powered by the Cummins X15NU Nuclear Engine starting with the 2025 models. Forget diesel; it’s time to go nuclear!

The Glowing Revolution:

Peterbilt’s press release was delivered via carrier pigeon (because why not?) and read, “Dear trucking enthusiasts, brace yourselves for the most electrifying news since the invention of the air horn: We’re going nuclear! Our new trucks will run on the Cummins X15NU, which stands for ‘Nuclear Unleashed.’ It’s like Chernobyl meets the Autobahn!”

How the Cummins X15NU Works:

1. Fuel Source: Instead of boring old diesel, the X15NU runs on enriched uranium rods. Yes, those same rods that power submarines and occasionally turn superheroes into mutants. But don’t worry, we’ve got this under control. The uranium rods are stored in a lead-lined compartment right next to the glove box. Safety first!

2. Radiation Emissions: The green ooze dripping from the engine? That’s just extra horsepower leaking out. It’s not radioactive; it’s radiantly charged. Imagine your skin glowing like a disco ball at a trucker convention. You’ll be the life of the weigh station!

3. Driver Benefits: Worried about the effects of radiation exposure? Fear not! The Cummins X15NU doubles as a tanning bed. Just park your rig in direct sunlight, and voilà! Instant sun-kissed skin. Plus, it’s a great way to save on your electric bill.

4. Climate Change Solution: Peterbilt claims that the X15NU is the ultimate weapon against climate change. How, you ask? Well, the nuclear engine emits a warm, cozy glow that melts polar ice caps. No more pesky glaciers blocking your route! And the best part? It’s carbon-neutral because radiation doesn’t count. Trust us; we’re truck scientists.
   

Testimonials from Early Adopters:

• Trucker Joe: “I used to haul frozen peas, but now I’m hauling melted glaciers. Thanks, Peterbilt!”

• Trucker Sally: “My skin is so radiant that I’ve become a walking billboard for solar panels. Plus, I can charge my phone just by holding it near my forehead.”

• Trucker Bob: “I accidentally drove through Area 51, and my rig turned into a UFO. Now I’m negotiating movie rights with Spielberg.”
  

FAQs:

Q: Is the Cummins X15NU safe?

A: Absolutely! We’ve equipped each truck with a miniature lead-lined fallout shelter. Just crawl in, close the door, and enjoy a cozy nuclear winter.

Q: What if I run out of uranium rods?

A: No worries! Just swing by any nuclear power plant. They’re like Starbucks now—on every corner.

Q: Will my cargo glow in the dark?

A: Only if it’s organic. We recommend hauling glow sticks, disco balls, and radioactive kittens.

There you have it, truckers! Get ready for a glowing future with Peterbilt’s Cummins X15NU Nuclear-Powered Trucks. Remember, when life gives you uranium, make truck fuel!

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to actual trucking events, nuclear physics, or sentient bananas is purely coincidental. Reader discretion is advised. By continuing to read, you agree to suspend your disbelief, embrace the ludicrous, and possibly develop an inexplicable craving for uranium. Remember, the Cummins X15NU Nuclear-Powered Trucks are not available for purchase. Attempting to build one in your backyard may result in unintended consequences, such as attracting extraterrestrial life forms or accidentally creating a black hole. Peterbilt and Cummins deny any responsibility for glowing skin, sudden mutations, or spontaneous dance parties that may occur while operating these imaginary trucks. If you find yourself spontaneously breakdancing at a truck stop, please consult a fictional physician immediately. Lastly, if you encounter any radioactive kittens, please report them to the Department of Imaginary Wildlife Control. They’re probably just looking for a good scratch behind the ears.