Platypus News Exclusive Part 3 of 3: Old School Truckers vs. Modern Day Wheel Jockeys - A Battle of Gears and Wits

Written by: Mellow Mike. Meteorologist/Mechanic

Phoenix, Arizona - In a surprising twist of fate, old school truckers and Gen Z drivers have found common ground in their mutual disdain for self-driving trucks. PlatypusNews.com has the inside scoop on this alliance, and the complaints are as plentiful as potholes on a neglected highway.

First on the list of grievances is the question of fuel. “Sure, they can drive themselves, but who’s going to pump the diesel?” asked one skeptical trucker, scratching his head. “Last I checked, robots don’t have credit cards or loyalty points for free coffee refills.”

Another point of contention is the reliability of satellite navigation on a cloudy day. “I’d like to see one of those self-driving trucks try to listen to a satellite through a Texas thunderstorm,” remarked a Gen Z driver, confidently sipping her third latte of the morning.

The age-old question of whether the trailer door is shut has also stumped the autonomous adversaries. “If a self-driving truck leaves a warehouse and no one is around to hear it, does the trailer door make a sound?” pondered an old-timer, much to the amusement of his younger peers.

Perhaps the most heartfelt complaint comes from the lost art of broker bickering. “A self-driving truck negotiating rates? Ha! I’d pay good money to see a robot argue with a broker over 50 cents a mile,” chuckled a Gen Z driver, her smartwatch blinking in agreement.

The list of complaints doesn’t stop there. “Who’s going to enjoy the oversized truck stop breakfast if not a real driver?” mourned a veteran of the road. “Will a self-driving truck appreciate a good sunset or the beauty of the open road? I think not,” sighed a poetic Gen Z driver. “And what about the radio sing-alongs? I can’t harmonize with a computer,” lamented another, already missing the duets with his dashboard companion.

It seems that, for now, the trucking community stands united in their skepticism of self-driving trucks. Whether it’s the lack of human touch or the absence of a good trucker hat, the consensus is clear: the road is no place for a driver without a pulse.

Disclaimer: This article is meant for a laugh and should not be used as a GPS guide for the future of trucking. Old school and Gen Z drivers, please unite in taking this piece with a pinch of humor and not as a navigation instruction for the road ahead. And remember, self-driving trucks may not need coffee breaks, but they also can’t appreciate a good trucker joke!