Marriage Laws Amidst UAP Hearings

Lawmakers in Washington D.C. have moved swiftly and voted on a bill that is now a new law, and it is sending shockwaves throughout communities across the United States. Coming off of the recent UAP hearing on Capitol Hill interspecies, marriage is now illegal.

The law, which was passed by a narrow margin, comes on the heels of recent congressional hearings on Unidentified Aerial Phenomena (UAPs). Many lawmakers have expressed concerns about extraterrestrial threats, emphasizing the need to protect national security and human purity.

Some critics argue that this new law is a direct response to these concerns, reflecting a growing fear and distrust of anything alien, whether it be from outer space, living in our oceans or from south of the border.

"We came here seeking love, not prejudice," lamented Namsnalk, a Togib, who traveled 8 light-years to Earth. "We only want positive interactions with humans. It's as if they're afraid of us or something." 

Former Republican House Representative Matt Gaetz seemed disturbed and downright outraged that the new law prohibits extraterrestrial youth to date and marry older human men. 

President Biden maintains that the law is necessary to protect national security, though many see it as a discriminatory overreach. Critics argue that it unfairly targets individuals based on their species, rather than their actions. One unnamed citizen says, “Our rights should not be taken away just because some of us prefer our men to have multiple genitalia!”

As the debate rages on, it remains to be seen whether this law will withstand the test of time or be repealed as a relic of a fearful era. Platypus News will continue to follow this story as it develops.